Sunday, April 17, 2005
Friday, April 15, 2005
Aer Lingus has the Answer . . .
A mother and her son were flying Aer Lingus from Dublin to Heathrow.
The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked,
"If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?”
The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess.
So the boy asked the stewardess,
"If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?"
The boy said, "Yes she did."
"Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Aer Lingus always pulls out on time. Have your mother explain that to you."
The son (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked,
"If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?”
The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess.
So the boy asked the stewardess,
"If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The stewardess responded, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?"
The boy said, "Yes she did."
"Well, then, tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Aer Lingus always pulls out on time. Have your mother explain that to you."
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Calorie Counter
Jay.mac at Cryptic Subterranean has a post on this calorie counter I found on washingtonpost.com. It's scary to think how many calories you are consuming in one meal. Recommended daily calorie intake is 2000 calories for women and 2500 calories for men. You can choose from Burger King, KFC, McDonalds, Subway, Taco Bell or Wendy's. Pick what you normaly eat when you're there and it tells you how many calories there are in that meal.
Be prepared to be shocked!
Be prepared to be shocked!
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
After 25 years of marriage
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband,
"When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied,
"All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked,
"What are you thinking now?"
He replied,
"It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
"When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied,
"All I wanted to do was to fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked,
"What are you thinking now?"
He replied,
"It looks as if I did a pretty good job."
51 Days!
A group of blondes walk into a bar.
One of the women tells the bartender to line up a row of drinks for all of them.
The gals lift their glasses and toast, "Here's to 51 days!" and they proceed to down their drinks.
Once again, they tell the bartender to "line 'em up", and once again they toast 51 days and down their drinks.
The bartender says, "I don't get it. Why in the world are you toasting 51 days?"
One of the blondes explains, "We just finished a jigsaw puzzle.
It had written on the box '2-4 years,' but we finished it in 51 days!"
One of the women tells the bartender to line up a row of drinks for all of them.
The gals lift their glasses and toast, "Here's to 51 days!" and they proceed to down their drinks.
Once again, they tell the bartender to "line 'em up", and once again they toast 51 days and down their drinks.
The bartender says, "I don't get it. Why in the world are you toasting 51 days?"
One of the blondes explains, "We just finished a jigsaw puzzle.
It had written on the box '2-4 years,' but we finished it in 51 days!"
Angelina Jolie 2
I couldn't find many photos of Angelina with blonde hair, but I think this one alone makes up for it.
Angelina Jolie
I can imagine seeing a lot more of this woman here. I think she's beautiful. She may not be a wonderful actress, but she certainly knows how to get our attention.
Monday, April 11, 2005
Little Edward
Edward was at school this morning and the teacher asked all the children what there fathers did for a living.
All the typical answers came out, Fireman, Policeman, Salesman, Chippy, etc, but Edward was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good, he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him."
The teacher quickly sets the other children some work and took little Edward aside to ask him if that was really true....
"No" said Edward "He plays Rugby for England but I was just too embarrassed to say”
All the typical answers came out, Fireman, Policeman, Salesman, Chippy, etc, but Edward was being uncharacteristically quiet and so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really good, he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them sleep with him."
The teacher quickly sets the other children some work and took little Edward aside to ask him if that was really true....
"No" said Edward "He plays Rugby for England but I was just too embarrassed to say”
Monica Bellucci
This one is for jay.mac
I know he likes her and after seeing this photo, I'm not surprised. Monica Bellucci has a real natural beauty and this pic is very sexy!
I know he likes her and after seeing this photo, I'm not surprised. Monica Bellucci has a real natural beauty and this pic is very sexy!
Paddy the Irishman
Paddy, the famous Irishman is driving home after downing a few at the local pub. He turns a corner and much to his horror he sees a tree in the middle of the road.
He swerves to avoid it and almost too late realizes that there is yet another tree directly in his path. He swerves again and discovers that his drive home has turned into a slalom course, causing him to veer from side to side to avoid all the trees.
Moments later he hears the sound of a police siren and brings his car to a stop. The officer approaches Paddy's car and asks him what on earth he was doing.
Paddy tells his story of the trees in the road when the officer stops him mid sentence and says,
"Fer Feck sake, Paddy, that's yer feckin air freshener!"
He swerves to avoid it and almost too late realizes that there is yet another tree directly in his path. He swerves again and discovers that his drive home has turned into a slalom course, causing him to veer from side to side to avoid all the trees.
Moments later he hears the sound of a police siren and brings his car to a stop. The officer approaches Paddy's car and asks him what on earth he was doing.
Paddy tells his story of the trees in the road when the officer stops him mid sentence and says,
"Fer Feck sake, Paddy, that's yer feckin air freshener!"
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